cado in nusquam (angelus in meus umerus humerus), Part III, Supernatural, NC-17

Fandom: Supernatural
Title: cado in nusquam (angelus in meus umerus humerus) (Part One, cado in nusquam, Part two, haud sileo pro scelestus
Pairing/Characters: Sam, Dean, Bobby, John/Dean
Rating: A very serious NC-17
Word Count: 4335
Summary: Dean got out of hell, but still isn't sure what is real and what isn't. This is largely a re-write of episode 4X01 "Lazurus Rising"...and what Dean's dealing with after the first two parts of this story.

Warnings: This is maybe the darkest thing I've ever written, and those of you who have read my work know I don't say these things lightly. This at the very least rivals the "P!Verse"...in some ways it goes darker places than that. There is rape/non-con, dub-con, there is torture, both physical and mental. This part of this fic does not contain any real comfort.

A/Ns: This began as a comment fic prompt that simply wouldn't leave me alone. Then I was surrounded by dirty, filthy enablers (I'm eyeing varkelton and denyce specifically here). I haven't seen fandom really address the issue of John and his year in hell in light of Dean's revelation that 4 months was like 40 years...and if Dean broke in 30 years, how much longer could John have held out? In my mind for this, John escapes hell in "All Hell Breaks Loose" but isn't necessarily the John we remember...and what happens after he kills his enemy is murky at best...what if he was just far enough gone that he never could come back?


Art provided by fallen_for_lost.



( angelus in meus umerus humerus (angel on my shoulder) )