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phantismaFandom: Supernatural
Title: Blood & Family, A Broken Sequel (all Broken here)
Pairings/Characters: Gabe/Caleb, some Sam/Dean, mention of Bobby, OMC
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: (this part) 4418
Summary: Gabe faces a potential tragedy while Caleb tries to come to terms with what has changed between them. Sam and Dean come to the rescue, in more ways than one, and it all ends in porn.
A/Ns & Warnings: This started out being a wee little Gabe/Caleb fic and grew out of proportion. It got kinda shloompy (sorry) . Warnings for knife and blood play. No, I don't know how we can have shloompy and knife and blood kink. It just happened.
“Any word?” Caleb stopped beside Gabe who hadn’t moved in the twenty minutes he’d been gone in search of coffee.
Gabe blinked, but didn’t turn. “No.” His voice was miserable, dripping with hurt and guilt and the anguish that only the possibility of losing someone he loved could bring.
Caleb held out the cup of coffee. “Come on, Gabe. You’re wiped.”
Gabe’s hand fumbled out to take the coffee, his eyes flicking to meet Caleb’s. The blue had gone totally dark and the rims were red and starting to get swollen. Caleb slid his hand onto Gabe’s back as Gabe turned back to the window, staring into the room.
Bobby had called two days before. Caleb and Gabe had been in Seattle chasing down a ghost when the call came, and they’d driven almost 42 hours east into Nebraska to meet them at the hospital.
No one really knew exactly what had happened. Bobby had said that Allen had called him for backup, but by the time he’d gotten there, Allen was missing and when Bobby found him, he was laying broken at the bottom of a chasm.
The doctors hadn’t told them much. Gabe hadn’t spoken much since they’d gotten there a few hours before. Inside the room, Allen was hidden under tubes and equipment. They only knew that he had a spinal injury and that the concussion was severe.
“I called Sam.” Caleb said softly, but Gabe still flinched. “He and Dean will be here by morning.”
Caleb still wasn’t clear on what Sam could and couldn’t do, but he’d seemed to think he could help.
“Mr. Barris?” Gabe turned, his hand fumbling for Caleb’s as the doctor stopped beside them. “We’re going to be taking your father into surgery in just a few minutes. We had hoped to wait until he was a little more stable, but the internal bleeding is getting worse.” The doctor looked sympathetic. “You should try to get some rest. You won’t be able to see him for at least a few hours.
Caleb knew it would be next to impossible to get Gabe out of the hospital. Orderlies were moving in to Allen’s room. Caleb tugged on Gabe’s hand and pulled him away from the window. “How about something to eat?”
Gabe shook his head, but let Gabe lead him to the bank of chairs along the wall. He sank down into one, his coffee all but forgotten in his hand. The doctor was gone.
Caleb sat next Gabe, one hand sliding onto his thigh. “There’s a motel just down the street.”
Gabe shook his head tightly. “I can’t leave him.”
Caleb sighed. “You can’t help him if you wear yourself down.”
Gabe was silent as the orderlies wheeled the gurney from the room with Allen strapped to it. He didn’t watch, didn’t move. “I should have been there.”
That Caleb understood. The guilt that had been weighing on Gabe since they got the call. Guilt that he had left Allen alone, the he was enjoying himself with Caleb while his father worked. Caleb put his arm around Gabe and pulled him close. “We don’t know that it would have made a difference.”
Gabe sniffled. “I could have gotten help sooner. We don’t even know how long he was down there. Alone.”
They were quiet then, Gabe staring mindlessly at the floor. They were still there hours later when the doctor came to find them. Caleb patted Gabe’s back and Gabe looked up, standing slowly.
The doctor inhaled and nodded. “Your father is in recovery. We’ll be moving him into the ICU in just a few minutes. The surgery went well, but we’re going to keep him in a medical coma for the next twelve hours or so, for his own safety.
Gabe rubbed his nose. “Can I see him?”
“Right now, what you father needs is rest, son. And he can do that best if you let us do our job.”
Gabe nodded haphazardly, his hand fumbling for Caleb’s. “Make sure to leave your contact information with the nurse, and go get some rest. You’re father has a long recovery ahead of him. He’s going to need you.”
Even after Caleb got them checked into the motel, Gabe wasn’t ready to even try sleeping. He stood at the window, staring out at the parking lot. Caleb went into the bathroom and pulled out their med kit.
Gabe didn’t like taking meds, but this time, Caleb was going to pull rank and make him take a light sedative. To his surprise, Gabe didn’t even argue, just held out his hand when Caleb came out of the bathroom.
He swallowed down the pill and half the glass of water before handing it back. Caleb set the glass on the dresser and went to Gabe, sliding his arms around his waist and leaning against him. “He’s going to be okay.”
Gabe trembled in his arms. Caleb had never seen him this upset, this scared. “What if he isn’t?” Gabe’s voice was small. “What if he never wakes up?” He looked down at his hands. “What if he does? He could be paralyzed.”
Caleb didn’t know what to say, so he just held him close.
“I’m afraid, Caleb. I’m not ready to be…alone. He’s the only family I have.”
Caleb pressed a kiss into his hair, trying not to let the comment hurt him. Gabe was afraid, and even at his best he had a bad habit of speaking without thinking. He wanted to protest that he wasn’t alone, that Gabe had him…but he knew where Gabe’s head was. Caleb wasn’t blood.
And Allen was all the blood that Gabe had.
For all that they’d been together for nearly three years, they had never spoken of commitment or what this was that they had. It just was, and they lived in the moment, like most hunters. “Come lay down.”
Gabe came with him to the bed, laying down and letting Caleb gather him in his arms. Gabe’s eyes fluttered closed as the sedative worked at lulling him. Caleb pressed a kiss to his cheek and laid his head on Gabe’s shoulder.
Caleb listened to Gabe’s breathing slow and even out. In minutes Gabe was sleeping. Caleb eased out of the bed and paced the room a few minutes before he went back to the bathroom and started a hot shower.
He stripped down and stepped in under the water. He was restless, anxious. This thing with Gabe had gone from…sexual exploration to something more. Caleb genuinely cared for the kid. He closed his eyes and tilted his head back under the water.
It was more than that, and he knew it. It had been more than a year since he’d nearly lost Gabe, almost two. Caleb had never told Gabe how scared he’d been, or how alone he’d felt. He’d gotten accustomed to having someone, gotten soft.
Caleb knew about alone. He’d been alone for a long, long time before Gabe…and somewhere along the line Gabe had become…something more than the man Caleb was sleeping with. He’d had that before. But this…this was something else.
He turned off the water that had already started to run cold and grabbed for a towel, drying off and stepping into clean boxers before wiping down the mirror and staring at his reflection.
Now wasn’t the time to go blurting all of this out at Gabe, not when he was scared and worried and Allen still might not make it. He needed to pull his head together and be there for him. There would be time enough for talking when Allen was better. If he got better.
Gabe woke to the sound of Caleb’s phone vibrating on the night stand. He was still feeling groggy, but the vague light peeking in around the curtains told him it was something close to morning. Gabe reached for the phone. The caller ID said Sam, so he flicked it open. “Hey.”
“We’re here.”
Gabe sat up, holding up a hand to quiet Caleb when he reached for him. “We’ll meet you at the hospital.”
“Right. Half hour.”
“Good.” Sam hung up and Gabe slid out of bed. “Sam and Dean are here.” Caleb hadn’t done more than take Gabe’s shoes off while he slept. Gabe grabbed for them and started shoving his feet into them. Caleb was pulling on clothes. Gabe knew he shouldn’t put too much hope in Sam. But he couldn’t help it. He knew Sam could do something. Would do something.
He’d seen Sam pull the metal bits out of John and Gordon.
And yes, he knew that being in a hospital was hard on Sam, that the hurt and emotional upheaval was overwhelming and he should care, but he couldn’t bring himself to. This was his father.
Gabe looked up, tracking Caleb’s process. He had hurt Caleb the night before. Gabe knew it. Not that he’d say anything. But Gabe knew, and when this was over he’d make it right.
“Ready?” Caleb had the car keys. Gabe nodded.
Dean met them at the front doors of the hospital, holding up a hand when Gabe would have barreled through. “Slow down.”
“Where’s Sam?” Gabe crossed his arms and tried to stand up to Dean.
“He’s getting his head together. You can’t rush this, Gabe. We haven’t been in a city this size in months.”
Gabe nodded. “Okay.”
“And you have to be prepared. He can’t fix everything.”
Gabe dropped his gaze. He knew that. On some level anyway. The door to the lobby bathroom opened and Sam emerged, smiling weakly at Gabe and Caleb. “Hey.”
Gabe hadn’t seen Sam since the war, since the battle of Laramie. He looked…older. His face, his eyes…Gabe swallowed and looked away. “He’s in ICU.”
“We talked to Bobby.” Dean said as they turned and headed for the elevator. His eyes swept over Sam and it was as if they were talking to one another without saying anything. Sam nodded and Dean sighed. “You’re going to have to let us handle this, okay?”
Gabe nodded, his hand sliding into Caleb’s for comfort.
The elevator opened and Sam and Dean stepped out ahead of them. The nurse on duty stopped Sam and Dean before they got to the room, but a few minutes later, she was opening the door for them. Gabe followed slowly, watching as Sam sat on the side of the bed and Dean came to stand beside him.
They were quiet then, Dean’s hands on Sam’s shoulders. Sam’s hands hovered over Gabe’s father for a long time, then Sam seemed to fold in on himself, breathing in ragged breaths before he looked up at Gabe, tears in his eyes.
“I’m not going to lie, Gabe. This is bad.” Sam’s voice was rough, like his throat had been scraped raw. “I’ll do what I can…but…”
Gabe sniffed at tears he didn’t want to cry. “Anything, Sam…please. Don’t let him die.”
Sam’s big hand rose to take Gabe’s. “I can keep him alive, I know that. But his spine…the injury is severe, Gabe. I don’t know if I can…”
Gabe felt Caleb’s arms circle his waist, Caleb’s chin resting on Gabe’s shoulder. “We know, Sam. Do what you can.”
Sam exhaled. “I need some room.” Caleb squeezed him and together they backed off, watching as Sam turned back to Gabe’s father. The room seemed to still, as if time had frozen. Nothing moved and even the monitors and machines seemed to slow. After a long time, Sam drew in a deep breath and Dean was helping him stand.
“He needs to lie down. Your father should be waking up in a few minutes. You need to get his doctor in here.” Caleb was leaving him, pressing keys into Dean’s hand and whispering directions to the motel. Gabe stood at his father’s side, his fingers slipping into his hand.
Blue eyes fluttered open, and Gabe smiled a weak, watery smile. “Dad.”
“Step aside, Mr. Barris.” The doctor was there, checking him over and Gabe moved back by Caleb.
“He’s going to be okay.” Gabe whispered into Caleb’s shoulder as he clung to him.
A few hours later, the tubes and machines were gone and they were moving Allen back to a private room. Gabe wouldn’t leave his side. Caleb followed, watching Allen’s eyes skip around in confusion.
The doctor had said some memory loss was to be expected with the head trauma. So far they didn’t know how much he had lost, but it was clear he was confused.
Once the doctor had left the room, Caleb joined Gabe by the bed. “You had us worried.”
Allen frowned at him a little, then rubbed at his head. “I’m…sorry…I…” He sighed heavily. “I don’t remember much.”
“That’s normal.” Gabe said, his hand soothing over Allen’s. “Sam…he said he couldn’t do it all…he…saved you.”
“Sam?” Allen looked even more confused.
“You took a bad fall.” Caleb said. “Bobby found you.”
“Bobby…I called him…I think. It’s all a blur.”
“What were you after?” Gabe asked lightly, leaning against Caleb a little.
“Don’t remember.” Allen seemed to search for an answer to that question, but came up blank. He reached a hand for his legs. “Doctor says it will be a while before I’m up and around.”
“You’ll be lucky if you can walk again.” Dean’s voice floated into the room. Caleb turned to see him framed in the doorway. “Sam’s at the motel, sleeping. I figured I’d come give you the run down.”
Dean crossed the room and came to stand on Allen’s opposite side. “He healed the head injury, the dislocated shoulder, the infection, and he did what he could with the spinal injury, but I’ll be honest, it’s not going to be easy. You’ve got a long recovery ahead of you.”
Allen squinted up at Dean, and Caleb got the impression he wasn’t fully following what Dean was saying. “Don’t worry about the hunt, Bobby and my father are heading out to take care of it.”
“Sam did what?”
Dean nodded. “Expected that.” He sighed. “There’ll be a few holes in your memory for a little while. The swelling…well, I don’t know all the technical words, but it should come back to you. The upshot is that you’re lucky we were close enough to get here when we did. Caleb, a word?” Dean was already half way to the hallway when Caleb turned to follow.
“Something wrong?”
Dean shook his head. “No, I just…Sam’s worried about Gabe and how he’s going to handle this. The chances Allen gets full use back are pretty small.”
“He knows. He’s scared.” Caleb glanced back over his shoulder. “Never seen him so scared.”
Dean’s eyes flicked to Gabe’s head, bowed low over Allen and then back to Caleb. “He leans on you, a lot more than either of you realize.”
Caleb might have argued the point, but he could see in Dean’s eyes that it was probably true. Dean did have a way these days of seeing things from a different perspective.
“Don’t coddle him, Caleb. I can already see you thinking about ways to ease the pain. He needs to face this head on, or you’ll only prolong the agony.”
Caleb dropped his eyes. “I love him, Dean.”
Dean’s hand was on his shoulder. “I knew that a year ago Caleb, are you just figuring it out?”
Caleb shrugged and looked away. “Maybe…I don’t know.”
“Want some advice?” Caleb blinked and looked up at Dean with a tight nod. “Tell him. Soon.” Dean pulled his hand away and grinned. “I know, it’s a little girly, but watch his face light up when you do. He’s crazy about you too…and a little insecure about it, and about not being enough for you.”
They both turned to watch Gabe telling their father some story and Caleb’s lips tugged upward. “I got to get back to Sam. It’s going to be a rough few hours while he finds his balance again.”
Gabe pulled the comb through his wet hair and emerged from the bathroom in a cloud of steam. Caleb smiled up at him from the bed. “Your father called, wants you to bring him a cheeseburger when you go up.”
He rolled his eyes and rummaged in his bag for clean underwear, pulling them on and licking his lips. The doctors had been amazed by his father’s recovery and every day was a little better. Despite Dean’s warning, Allen was moving his feet and the test results were mostly positive.
Gabe turned back to Caleb and took a deep breath. “Caleb?”
Caleb set the gun he was cleaning aside. Gabe went to the bed to sit facing him. “I wanted to apologize.”
Caleb frowned at him. “For what?”
“When I said…I didn’t want to be alone…I mean…” He closed his eyes. He sucked at this.
Caleb’s hand slipped into his. “Gabe. I knew what you were saying.”
Gabe shook his head. “No, it hurt you.”
“It stung.”
Gabe opened his eyes. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you…but I thought it should wait…until your father was better.”
Gabe’s heart thundered. He pulled his hand away and stood, pacing toward the bathroom. This was where it all fell apart. He’d been worried for weeks that things between them had gotten too…normal…too predictable. And then he’d said that, hurt him…and he had a father he’d need to take care of and Caleb was a hunter and…
“Stop.” Caleb’s voice was soft, but it was enough to make Gabe end the ramble in his head. “It’s not what you think.”
“I’m sorry. Caleb…I don’t want you to think—“
Caleb held up both hands and stood. “Let me say this first, Gabe.” He got close enough to touch, but didn’t, looking down at his hands. “I’ve never had family…not really…not that I remember anyway.”
Gabe swallowed and nodded. He knew that. Caleb didn’t talk much about his past, but he knew he’d spent time in juvenile detention and that he’d been in the foster care system.
Caleb paced away and back, taking Gabe’s hands and sitting him on the end of the bed. “I should have said something before now…it shouldn’t take something like this…” Caleb’s hand slid over his head, then down his face. “Truth is, Gabe, before I met you, I’ve never really been good with having…people…like this…well, or any way, really.”
“Caleb—“ Caleb’s hand touched his lips and Gabe stopped, watching him shift his weight. He wasn’t telling Gabe it was over, he’d figured that much out.
“I…when we started this…I wasn’t sure what this was. I wanted something, and you wanted something, and I figured we’d just see where it went…but then, it went…here…and I…” Caleb growled in frustration. Gabe bit his lip but didn’t try to interrupt again. Obviously something important was on Caleb’s mind. “This is dumb. Wait here.”
Caleb disappeared into the closet, rummaging around and when he came out, he was wearing the collar. He licked his lips and took a deep breath. That calm settled over him, the look he only ever wore when he first put the collar on. Gabe watched him as he came closer, slipping to his knees in front of Gabe, his hands on Gabe’s knee, folded as if they were wearing restraints, or like he was praying.
“I know I’m not blood. I know that I’m not family in the strictest sense, Gabe. But I’ve come to think of you as my family, as the man I want to be with.” Caleb’s eyes lifted to Gabe’s, open, honest and more vulnerable than Gabe had seen him in a long time. “I want you to know that you will never be alone, as long as you’re willing to have me with you.” He licked his lips. His breathing was tight. Gabe could tell he wasn’t done. There was something more. “Gabe…I should have told you before this, I’ve been thinking about it ever since the accident.” His eyes tracked to Gabe’s arm, then back up to Gabe’s face.
“I don’t know what my life would be like without you anymore. I am more afraid of losing you than I am of losing my own life. I’ve never known anyone like you, and I never meant for this to happen, but here we are, and I am absolutely, unashamedly, head over heels in love with you.”
Gabe was holding his breath, staring into the face of the man who had turned his whole life upside down and shown him things about himself Gabe could never have imagined. He let out the breath and opened his mouth to respond, but all he managed was a grin as he surged up off the bed, wrapping his arms around Caleb and rolling them to the ground.
Caleb’s face was startled as Gabe ended their roll by straddling over him, pressing Caleb into the floor. Gabe’s face hurt from the fierceness of his smile. “I thought you were leaving me.” Gabe leaned in to kiss him and it was almost as awkward and strange as the first time…when Gabe was trying to figure out what this was, and how it could work. “Caleb…I love you so much. I was afraid to say it. I didn’t want to scare you away.”
Caleb raised an eyebrow, but didn’t respond. Gabe rolled his eyes. “Okay, so that was dumb.” Relief flooded him…alongside something else. His cock was pressing into Caleb’s leg. Now that he wasn’t afraid Caleb was running away, his body was reminding him they hadn’t really been playing much, and Caleb was wearing the collar and that gave him ideas.
He got up and looked down at Caleb. “Get naked, and clear the bed. We’re going to celebrate.”
“Celebrate?” Caleb looked amused as he picked himself up off the floor and set about cleaning up the gun cleaning kit before he stripped. Gabe went to the closet himself, rummaging in the toy bag. He wasn’t sure what he wanted, not until his eyes fell on the hunting kit that lay open next to the toy bag. Caleb’s knife was on top, freshly sharpened and cleaned.
It gave Gabe ideas. He went for the leather restraints then and pulled out some lube. Caleb was on the bed naked when Gabe turned around, showing obvious signs of arousal himself. Gabe held up the restraints and tossed them to Caleb. While Caleb set up, Gabe went to the bathroom for bandages and antiseptic.
He set them and the lube on the nightstand, watching Caleb’s eyebrow arch again. He wouldn’t ask, but Gabe could see the curiosity in his eyes. Gabe went back to the closet for a knife, hiding it in a towel. He set it on the bed outside Caleb’s legs as he climbed up and settled in between Caleb’s spread knees.
Caleb’s eyes came back to Gabe as his hands closed over the headboard, holding tight as Gabe lifted the lube and squirted some into his hand. They both watched as Gabe’s hand moved down, between his legs, his fingers sliding through his crack and up to his ass. This was comfortable, familiar. Caleb let out a slow, stuttering breath as Gabe entered him, two fingers moving in the tight space.
Gabe’s cock was starting to feel confined in his underwear. He moved back enough to get out of them, grinning when Caleb groaned and opened his eyes to see where he’d gone. Gabe wrapped a lube-slick hand around his cock and moved back into position. Caleb’s lips lifted, begging without words. Gabe held his cock and rubbed the tip through the wetness he’d left behind in Caleb’s crack, letting it settle against Caleb’s hole.
It had been a while and Caleb was tight, but Gabe pressed in and Caleb pressed down and the heat of Caleb’s body engulfed him slowly. When he was fully inside, Gabe leaned forward, kissing over Caleb’s chest, rubbing his abs over Caleb’s cock until Caleb was moaning and writhing. Gabe eased out and back in, giving him time to adjust while he prepared for the next part, reaching for the knife and towel.
“Blood.” Gabe said softly, watching Caleb’s eyes open again, focusing slowly on the blade now in his hand. Gabe met Caleb’s eyes and held them. “Family.” He moved his hips, pressing his cock deep into Caleb as he held the blade up to his own hand. He sliced the meaty heel of his palm.
Blood dripped down onto Caleb’s stomach and cock and he hissed. Gabe closed his mouth over the wound, sucking lightly before he leaned in, kissing Caleb with the copper taste of his own blood on his tongue. Caleb moaned into Gabe’s mouth, licking and sucking at the taste until Gabe pulled back and offered him the wound, letting it bleed onto Caleb’s tongue. “My blood.” Gabe growled, bending in to kiss him again. “Inside you.”
“Gabe…god…” Caleb’s body arched up, his cock pressing against Gabe.
Gabe brought the knife down, laying the flat of the blade on Caleb’s chest. “Your blood.” Caleb’s eyes flashed with need and want and permission and Gabe cut, a small slice just over the right nipple. Caleb gasped and his ass squeezed tight around Gabe, making Gabe pant and fight to keep from coming. He leaned down, licking up the blood welling along the wound, swallowing it before licking up more and rising up to kiss Caleb. “Inside me.”
Caleb cried out as he came, come mixing with blood on his skin. Gabe rocked back and pressed into him, snapping his hips quickly and yelling as he came too. He licked up the blood and come before kissing Caleb, then reached for the bandages, still breathing hard.
“Knife kink much?” Caleb asked as Gabe finished cleaning and bandaging them both and laying down beside him.
“You came first.” Gabe observed, grinning.
“I like the way you taste.” Caleb blushed a little as he said it, then went quiet.
Gabe reached for the collar, unbuckling it and setting it aside before he sat up and looked down at Caleb. “I mean it.” He put his hand over the bandage on Caleb’s chest. “Blood. Forever.”
Caleb lifted his hand and kissed it lightly. “Forever.”
The phone on the nightstand started buzzing and Gabe reached for it. His father, probably wondering where Gabe was with his cheeseburger. “I’m on my way, Dad. I just had…something important to take care of.”
Title: Blood & Family, A Broken Sequel (all Broken here)
Pairings/Characters: Gabe/Caleb, some Sam/Dean, mention of Bobby, OMC
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: (this part) 4418
Summary: Gabe faces a potential tragedy while Caleb tries to come to terms with what has changed between them. Sam and Dean come to the rescue, in more ways than one, and it all ends in porn.
A/Ns & Warnings: This started out being a wee little Gabe/Caleb fic and grew out of proportion. It got kinda shloompy (sorry) . Warnings for knife and blood play. No, I don't know how we can have shloompy and knife and blood kink. It just happened.
“Any word?” Caleb stopped beside Gabe who hadn’t moved in the twenty minutes he’d been gone in search of coffee.
Gabe blinked, but didn’t turn. “No.” His voice was miserable, dripping with hurt and guilt and the anguish that only the possibility of losing someone he loved could bring.
Caleb held out the cup of coffee. “Come on, Gabe. You’re wiped.”
Gabe’s hand fumbled out to take the coffee, his eyes flicking to meet Caleb’s. The blue had gone totally dark and the rims were red and starting to get swollen. Caleb slid his hand onto Gabe’s back as Gabe turned back to the window, staring into the room.
Bobby had called two days before. Caleb and Gabe had been in Seattle chasing down a ghost when the call came, and they’d driven almost 42 hours east into Nebraska to meet them at the hospital.
No one really knew exactly what had happened. Bobby had said that Allen had called him for backup, but by the time he’d gotten there, Allen was missing and when Bobby found him, he was laying broken at the bottom of a chasm.
The doctors hadn’t told them much. Gabe hadn’t spoken much since they’d gotten there a few hours before. Inside the room, Allen was hidden under tubes and equipment. They only knew that he had a spinal injury and that the concussion was severe.
“I called Sam.” Caleb said softly, but Gabe still flinched. “He and Dean will be here by morning.”
Caleb still wasn’t clear on what Sam could and couldn’t do, but he’d seemed to think he could help.
“Mr. Barris?” Gabe turned, his hand fumbling for Caleb’s as the doctor stopped beside them. “We’re going to be taking your father into surgery in just a few minutes. We had hoped to wait until he was a little more stable, but the internal bleeding is getting worse.” The doctor looked sympathetic. “You should try to get some rest. You won’t be able to see him for at least a few hours.
Caleb knew it would be next to impossible to get Gabe out of the hospital. Orderlies were moving in to Allen’s room. Caleb tugged on Gabe’s hand and pulled him away from the window. “How about something to eat?”
Gabe shook his head, but let Gabe lead him to the bank of chairs along the wall. He sank down into one, his coffee all but forgotten in his hand. The doctor was gone.
Caleb sat next Gabe, one hand sliding onto his thigh. “There’s a motel just down the street.”
Gabe shook his head tightly. “I can’t leave him.”
Caleb sighed. “You can’t help him if you wear yourself down.”
Gabe was silent as the orderlies wheeled the gurney from the room with Allen strapped to it. He didn’t watch, didn’t move. “I should have been there.”
That Caleb understood. The guilt that had been weighing on Gabe since they got the call. Guilt that he had left Allen alone, the he was enjoying himself with Caleb while his father worked. Caleb put his arm around Gabe and pulled him close. “We don’t know that it would have made a difference.”
Gabe sniffled. “I could have gotten help sooner. We don’t even know how long he was down there. Alone.”
They were quiet then, Gabe staring mindlessly at the floor. They were still there hours later when the doctor came to find them. Caleb patted Gabe’s back and Gabe looked up, standing slowly.
The doctor inhaled and nodded. “Your father is in recovery. We’ll be moving him into the ICU in just a few minutes. The surgery went well, but we’re going to keep him in a medical coma for the next twelve hours or so, for his own safety.
Gabe rubbed his nose. “Can I see him?”
“Right now, what you father needs is rest, son. And he can do that best if you let us do our job.”
Gabe nodded haphazardly, his hand fumbling for Caleb’s. “Make sure to leave your contact information with the nurse, and go get some rest. You’re father has a long recovery ahead of him. He’s going to need you.”
Even after Caleb got them checked into the motel, Gabe wasn’t ready to even try sleeping. He stood at the window, staring out at the parking lot. Caleb went into the bathroom and pulled out their med kit.
Gabe didn’t like taking meds, but this time, Caleb was going to pull rank and make him take a light sedative. To his surprise, Gabe didn’t even argue, just held out his hand when Caleb came out of the bathroom.
He swallowed down the pill and half the glass of water before handing it back. Caleb set the glass on the dresser and went to Gabe, sliding his arms around his waist and leaning against him. “He’s going to be okay.”
Gabe trembled in his arms. Caleb had never seen him this upset, this scared. “What if he isn’t?” Gabe’s voice was small. “What if he never wakes up?” He looked down at his hands. “What if he does? He could be paralyzed.”
Caleb didn’t know what to say, so he just held him close.
“I’m afraid, Caleb. I’m not ready to be…alone. He’s the only family I have.”
Caleb pressed a kiss into his hair, trying not to let the comment hurt him. Gabe was afraid, and even at his best he had a bad habit of speaking without thinking. He wanted to protest that he wasn’t alone, that Gabe had him…but he knew where Gabe’s head was. Caleb wasn’t blood.
And Allen was all the blood that Gabe had.
For all that they’d been together for nearly three years, they had never spoken of commitment or what this was that they had. It just was, and they lived in the moment, like most hunters. “Come lay down.”
Gabe came with him to the bed, laying down and letting Caleb gather him in his arms. Gabe’s eyes fluttered closed as the sedative worked at lulling him. Caleb pressed a kiss to his cheek and laid his head on Gabe’s shoulder.
Caleb listened to Gabe’s breathing slow and even out. In minutes Gabe was sleeping. Caleb eased out of the bed and paced the room a few minutes before he went back to the bathroom and started a hot shower.
He stripped down and stepped in under the water. He was restless, anxious. This thing with Gabe had gone from…sexual exploration to something more. Caleb genuinely cared for the kid. He closed his eyes and tilted his head back under the water.
It was more than that, and he knew it. It had been more than a year since he’d nearly lost Gabe, almost two. Caleb had never told Gabe how scared he’d been, or how alone he’d felt. He’d gotten accustomed to having someone, gotten soft.
Caleb knew about alone. He’d been alone for a long, long time before Gabe…and somewhere along the line Gabe had become…something more than the man Caleb was sleeping with. He’d had that before. But this…this was something else.
He turned off the water that had already started to run cold and grabbed for a towel, drying off and stepping into clean boxers before wiping down the mirror and staring at his reflection.
Now wasn’t the time to go blurting all of this out at Gabe, not when he was scared and worried and Allen still might not make it. He needed to pull his head together and be there for him. There would be time enough for talking when Allen was better. If he got better.
Gabe woke to the sound of Caleb’s phone vibrating on the night stand. He was still feeling groggy, but the vague light peeking in around the curtains told him it was something close to morning. Gabe reached for the phone. The caller ID said Sam, so he flicked it open. “Hey.”
“We’re here.”
Gabe sat up, holding up a hand to quiet Caleb when he reached for him. “We’ll meet you at the hospital.”
“Right. Half hour.”
“Good.” Sam hung up and Gabe slid out of bed. “Sam and Dean are here.” Caleb hadn’t done more than take Gabe’s shoes off while he slept. Gabe grabbed for them and started shoving his feet into them. Caleb was pulling on clothes. Gabe knew he shouldn’t put too much hope in Sam. But he couldn’t help it. He knew Sam could do something. Would do something.
He’d seen Sam pull the metal bits out of John and Gordon.
And yes, he knew that being in a hospital was hard on Sam, that the hurt and emotional upheaval was overwhelming and he should care, but he couldn’t bring himself to. This was his father.
Gabe looked up, tracking Caleb’s process. He had hurt Caleb the night before. Gabe knew it. Not that he’d say anything. But Gabe knew, and when this was over he’d make it right.
“Ready?” Caleb had the car keys. Gabe nodded.
Dean met them at the front doors of the hospital, holding up a hand when Gabe would have barreled through. “Slow down.”
“Where’s Sam?” Gabe crossed his arms and tried to stand up to Dean.
“He’s getting his head together. You can’t rush this, Gabe. We haven’t been in a city this size in months.”
Gabe nodded. “Okay.”
“And you have to be prepared. He can’t fix everything.”
Gabe dropped his gaze. He knew that. On some level anyway. The door to the lobby bathroom opened and Sam emerged, smiling weakly at Gabe and Caleb. “Hey.”
Gabe hadn’t seen Sam since the war, since the battle of Laramie. He looked…older. His face, his eyes…Gabe swallowed and looked away. “He’s in ICU.”
“We talked to Bobby.” Dean said as they turned and headed for the elevator. His eyes swept over Sam and it was as if they were talking to one another without saying anything. Sam nodded and Dean sighed. “You’re going to have to let us handle this, okay?”
Gabe nodded, his hand sliding into Caleb’s for comfort.
The elevator opened and Sam and Dean stepped out ahead of them. The nurse on duty stopped Sam and Dean before they got to the room, but a few minutes later, she was opening the door for them. Gabe followed slowly, watching as Sam sat on the side of the bed and Dean came to stand beside him.
They were quiet then, Dean’s hands on Sam’s shoulders. Sam’s hands hovered over Gabe’s father for a long time, then Sam seemed to fold in on himself, breathing in ragged breaths before he looked up at Gabe, tears in his eyes.
“I’m not going to lie, Gabe. This is bad.” Sam’s voice was rough, like his throat had been scraped raw. “I’ll do what I can…but…”
Gabe sniffed at tears he didn’t want to cry. “Anything, Sam…please. Don’t let him die.”
Sam’s big hand rose to take Gabe’s. “I can keep him alive, I know that. But his spine…the injury is severe, Gabe. I don’t know if I can…”
Gabe felt Caleb’s arms circle his waist, Caleb’s chin resting on Gabe’s shoulder. “We know, Sam. Do what you can.”
Sam exhaled. “I need some room.” Caleb squeezed him and together they backed off, watching as Sam turned back to Gabe’s father. The room seemed to still, as if time had frozen. Nothing moved and even the monitors and machines seemed to slow. After a long time, Sam drew in a deep breath and Dean was helping him stand.
“He needs to lie down. Your father should be waking up in a few minutes. You need to get his doctor in here.” Caleb was leaving him, pressing keys into Dean’s hand and whispering directions to the motel. Gabe stood at his father’s side, his fingers slipping into his hand.
Blue eyes fluttered open, and Gabe smiled a weak, watery smile. “Dad.”
“Step aside, Mr. Barris.” The doctor was there, checking him over and Gabe moved back by Caleb.
“He’s going to be okay.” Gabe whispered into Caleb’s shoulder as he clung to him.
A few hours later, the tubes and machines were gone and they were moving Allen back to a private room. Gabe wouldn’t leave his side. Caleb followed, watching Allen’s eyes skip around in confusion.
The doctor had said some memory loss was to be expected with the head trauma. So far they didn’t know how much he had lost, but it was clear he was confused.
Once the doctor had left the room, Caleb joined Gabe by the bed. “You had us worried.”
Allen frowned at him a little, then rubbed at his head. “I’m…sorry…I…” He sighed heavily. “I don’t remember much.”
“That’s normal.” Gabe said, his hand soothing over Allen’s. “Sam…he said he couldn’t do it all…he…saved you.”
“Sam?” Allen looked even more confused.
“You took a bad fall.” Caleb said. “Bobby found you.”
“Bobby…I called him…I think. It’s all a blur.”
“What were you after?” Gabe asked lightly, leaning against Caleb a little.
“Don’t remember.” Allen seemed to search for an answer to that question, but came up blank. He reached a hand for his legs. “Doctor says it will be a while before I’m up and around.”
“You’ll be lucky if you can walk again.” Dean’s voice floated into the room. Caleb turned to see him framed in the doorway. “Sam’s at the motel, sleeping. I figured I’d come give you the run down.”
Dean crossed the room and came to stand on Allen’s opposite side. “He healed the head injury, the dislocated shoulder, the infection, and he did what he could with the spinal injury, but I’ll be honest, it’s not going to be easy. You’ve got a long recovery ahead of you.”
Allen squinted up at Dean, and Caleb got the impression he wasn’t fully following what Dean was saying. “Don’t worry about the hunt, Bobby and my father are heading out to take care of it.”
“Sam did what?”
Dean nodded. “Expected that.” He sighed. “There’ll be a few holes in your memory for a little while. The swelling…well, I don’t know all the technical words, but it should come back to you. The upshot is that you’re lucky we were close enough to get here when we did. Caleb, a word?” Dean was already half way to the hallway when Caleb turned to follow.
“Something wrong?”
Dean shook his head. “No, I just…Sam’s worried about Gabe and how he’s going to handle this. The chances Allen gets full use back are pretty small.”
“He knows. He’s scared.” Caleb glanced back over his shoulder. “Never seen him so scared.”
Dean’s eyes flicked to Gabe’s head, bowed low over Allen and then back to Caleb. “He leans on you, a lot more than either of you realize.”
Caleb might have argued the point, but he could see in Dean’s eyes that it was probably true. Dean did have a way these days of seeing things from a different perspective.
“Don’t coddle him, Caleb. I can already see you thinking about ways to ease the pain. He needs to face this head on, or you’ll only prolong the agony.”
Caleb dropped his eyes. “I love him, Dean.”
Dean’s hand was on his shoulder. “I knew that a year ago Caleb, are you just figuring it out?”
Caleb shrugged and looked away. “Maybe…I don’t know.”
“Want some advice?” Caleb blinked and looked up at Dean with a tight nod. “Tell him. Soon.” Dean pulled his hand away and grinned. “I know, it’s a little girly, but watch his face light up when you do. He’s crazy about you too…and a little insecure about it, and about not being enough for you.”
They both turned to watch Gabe telling their father some story and Caleb’s lips tugged upward. “I got to get back to Sam. It’s going to be a rough few hours while he finds his balance again.”
Gabe pulled the comb through his wet hair and emerged from the bathroom in a cloud of steam. Caleb smiled up at him from the bed. “Your father called, wants you to bring him a cheeseburger when you go up.”
He rolled his eyes and rummaged in his bag for clean underwear, pulling them on and licking his lips. The doctors had been amazed by his father’s recovery and every day was a little better. Despite Dean’s warning, Allen was moving his feet and the test results were mostly positive.
Gabe turned back to Caleb and took a deep breath. “Caleb?”
Caleb set the gun he was cleaning aside. Gabe went to the bed to sit facing him. “I wanted to apologize.”
Caleb frowned at him. “For what?”
“When I said…I didn’t want to be alone…I mean…” He closed his eyes. He sucked at this.
Caleb’s hand slipped into his. “Gabe. I knew what you were saying.”
Gabe shook his head. “No, it hurt you.”
“It stung.”
Gabe opened his eyes. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you…but I thought it should wait…until your father was better.”
Gabe’s heart thundered. He pulled his hand away and stood, pacing toward the bathroom. This was where it all fell apart. He’d been worried for weeks that things between them had gotten too…normal…too predictable. And then he’d said that, hurt him…and he had a father he’d need to take care of and Caleb was a hunter and…
“Stop.” Caleb’s voice was soft, but it was enough to make Gabe end the ramble in his head. “It’s not what you think.”
“I’m sorry. Caleb…I don’t want you to think—“
Caleb held up both hands and stood. “Let me say this first, Gabe.” He got close enough to touch, but didn’t, looking down at his hands. “I’ve never had family…not really…not that I remember anyway.”
Gabe swallowed and nodded. He knew that. Caleb didn’t talk much about his past, but he knew he’d spent time in juvenile detention and that he’d been in the foster care system.
Caleb paced away and back, taking Gabe’s hands and sitting him on the end of the bed. “I should have said something before now…it shouldn’t take something like this…” Caleb’s hand slid over his head, then down his face. “Truth is, Gabe, before I met you, I’ve never really been good with having…people…like this…well, or any way, really.”
“Caleb—“ Caleb’s hand touched his lips and Gabe stopped, watching him shift his weight. He wasn’t telling Gabe it was over, he’d figured that much out.
“I…when we started this…I wasn’t sure what this was. I wanted something, and you wanted something, and I figured we’d just see where it went…but then, it went…here…and I…” Caleb growled in frustration. Gabe bit his lip but didn’t try to interrupt again. Obviously something important was on Caleb’s mind. “This is dumb. Wait here.”
Caleb disappeared into the closet, rummaging around and when he came out, he was wearing the collar. He licked his lips and took a deep breath. That calm settled over him, the look he only ever wore when he first put the collar on. Gabe watched him as he came closer, slipping to his knees in front of Gabe, his hands on Gabe’s knee, folded as if they were wearing restraints, or like he was praying.
“I know I’m not blood. I know that I’m not family in the strictest sense, Gabe. But I’ve come to think of you as my family, as the man I want to be with.” Caleb’s eyes lifted to Gabe’s, open, honest and more vulnerable than Gabe had seen him in a long time. “I want you to know that you will never be alone, as long as you’re willing to have me with you.” He licked his lips. His breathing was tight. Gabe could tell he wasn’t done. There was something more. “Gabe…I should have told you before this, I’ve been thinking about it ever since the accident.” His eyes tracked to Gabe’s arm, then back up to Gabe’s face.
“I don’t know what my life would be like without you anymore. I am more afraid of losing you than I am of losing my own life. I’ve never known anyone like you, and I never meant for this to happen, but here we are, and I am absolutely, unashamedly, head over heels in love with you.”
Gabe was holding his breath, staring into the face of the man who had turned his whole life upside down and shown him things about himself Gabe could never have imagined. He let out the breath and opened his mouth to respond, but all he managed was a grin as he surged up off the bed, wrapping his arms around Caleb and rolling them to the ground.
Caleb’s face was startled as Gabe ended their roll by straddling over him, pressing Caleb into the floor. Gabe’s face hurt from the fierceness of his smile. “I thought you were leaving me.” Gabe leaned in to kiss him and it was almost as awkward and strange as the first time…when Gabe was trying to figure out what this was, and how it could work. “Caleb…I love you so much. I was afraid to say it. I didn’t want to scare you away.”
Caleb raised an eyebrow, but didn’t respond. Gabe rolled his eyes. “Okay, so that was dumb.” Relief flooded him…alongside something else. His cock was pressing into Caleb’s leg. Now that he wasn’t afraid Caleb was running away, his body was reminding him they hadn’t really been playing much, and Caleb was wearing the collar and that gave him ideas.
He got up and looked down at Caleb. “Get naked, and clear the bed. We’re going to celebrate.”
“Celebrate?” Caleb looked amused as he picked himself up off the floor and set about cleaning up the gun cleaning kit before he stripped. Gabe went to the closet himself, rummaging in the toy bag. He wasn’t sure what he wanted, not until his eyes fell on the hunting kit that lay open next to the toy bag. Caleb’s knife was on top, freshly sharpened and cleaned.
It gave Gabe ideas. He went for the leather restraints then and pulled out some lube. Caleb was on the bed naked when Gabe turned around, showing obvious signs of arousal himself. Gabe held up the restraints and tossed them to Caleb. While Caleb set up, Gabe went to the bathroom for bandages and antiseptic.
He set them and the lube on the nightstand, watching Caleb’s eyebrow arch again. He wouldn’t ask, but Gabe could see the curiosity in his eyes. Gabe went back to the closet for a knife, hiding it in a towel. He set it on the bed outside Caleb’s legs as he climbed up and settled in between Caleb’s spread knees.
Caleb’s eyes came back to Gabe as his hands closed over the headboard, holding tight as Gabe lifted the lube and squirted some into his hand. They both watched as Gabe’s hand moved down, between his legs, his fingers sliding through his crack and up to his ass. This was comfortable, familiar. Caleb let out a slow, stuttering breath as Gabe entered him, two fingers moving in the tight space.
Gabe’s cock was starting to feel confined in his underwear. He moved back enough to get out of them, grinning when Caleb groaned and opened his eyes to see where he’d gone. Gabe wrapped a lube-slick hand around his cock and moved back into position. Caleb’s lips lifted, begging without words. Gabe held his cock and rubbed the tip through the wetness he’d left behind in Caleb’s crack, letting it settle against Caleb’s hole.
It had been a while and Caleb was tight, but Gabe pressed in and Caleb pressed down and the heat of Caleb’s body engulfed him slowly. When he was fully inside, Gabe leaned forward, kissing over Caleb’s chest, rubbing his abs over Caleb’s cock until Caleb was moaning and writhing. Gabe eased out and back in, giving him time to adjust while he prepared for the next part, reaching for the knife and towel.
“Blood.” Gabe said softly, watching Caleb’s eyes open again, focusing slowly on the blade now in his hand. Gabe met Caleb’s eyes and held them. “Family.” He moved his hips, pressing his cock deep into Caleb as he held the blade up to his own hand. He sliced the meaty heel of his palm.
Blood dripped down onto Caleb’s stomach and cock and he hissed. Gabe closed his mouth over the wound, sucking lightly before he leaned in, kissing Caleb with the copper taste of his own blood on his tongue. Caleb moaned into Gabe’s mouth, licking and sucking at the taste until Gabe pulled back and offered him the wound, letting it bleed onto Caleb’s tongue. “My blood.” Gabe growled, bending in to kiss him again. “Inside you.”
“Gabe…god…” Caleb’s body arched up, his cock pressing against Gabe.
Gabe brought the knife down, laying the flat of the blade on Caleb’s chest. “Your blood.” Caleb’s eyes flashed with need and want and permission and Gabe cut, a small slice just over the right nipple. Caleb gasped and his ass squeezed tight around Gabe, making Gabe pant and fight to keep from coming. He leaned down, licking up the blood welling along the wound, swallowing it before licking up more and rising up to kiss Caleb. “Inside me.”
Caleb cried out as he came, come mixing with blood on his skin. Gabe rocked back and pressed into him, snapping his hips quickly and yelling as he came too. He licked up the blood and come before kissing Caleb, then reached for the bandages, still breathing hard.
“Knife kink much?” Caleb asked as Gabe finished cleaning and bandaging them both and laying down beside him.
“You came first.” Gabe observed, grinning.
“I like the way you taste.” Caleb blushed a little as he said it, then went quiet.
Gabe reached for the collar, unbuckling it and setting it aside before he sat up and looked down at Caleb. “I mean it.” He put his hand over the bandage on Caleb’s chest. “Blood. Forever.”
Caleb lifted his hand and kissed it lightly. “Forever.”
The phone on the nightstand started buzzing and Gabe reached for it. His father, probably wondering where Gabe was with his cheeseburger. “I’m on my way, Dad. I just had…something important to take care of.”
